Love Sorrow on Prezi
Love,
Kim
Showing posts with label TRUTH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TRUTH. Show all posts
New Programs in the Los Angeles Area
I am negotiating upcoming expressive arts workshops for grieving people at Adult Bereavement Group at Long Beach Memorial Medical Center and The Cancer Support Community in the Los Angeles area. Stay tuned!
Love,
Kim
Love,
Kim
Daily "Eloquent Grief" Readings from Alive and Mortal
Eloquent: Clearly expressing or indicating something.
Grief: Deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death.
Something that I did not anticipate with this year's Advent Calendar project was a kind request to continue into 2012 with providing readers with daily readings.
I am humbled and honored that there are a handful of people that would like to continue a connection throughout the year. There is a small cluster of people who are quietly working at grief, impermanence, eloquence and evolving bonds. And I want to go with them.
I became a little overwhelmed over HOW to fulfill such a commitment... and then, I recalled something that I enjoy very much and how I might adapt it to this project.
On the Twitter social network I enjoy following #micropoetry. The people write with the known limitation of 144 characters. There are some amazing and potent words that come through the ether. Similar to haiku, it can capture a universe of meaning in an economy of words.
I was inspired by the tradition of haiku and the #micropoets to open a separate twitter account just for this kind of writing, for tight, brief grounding meditations... and they are linked to here to have them post daily on this blog in the right column... see this image:
These Daily Readings have begun updating. Right now I am futzing over having them update at the same time each day. I am sure I will figure that part out soon.
If you are on Twitter and want them to feed to you via Twitter - see AliveandMortal
Thank you for keeping me on my toes and growing!
Wishes for a Peaceful New Year.
Love,
Kim
Grief: Deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death.
Something that I did not anticipate with this year's Advent Calendar project was a kind request to continue into 2012 with providing readers with daily readings.
I am humbled and honored that there are a handful of people that would like to continue a connection throughout the year. There is a small cluster of people who are quietly working at grief, impermanence, eloquence and evolving bonds. And I want to go with them.
I became a little overwhelmed over HOW to fulfill such a commitment... and then, I recalled something that I enjoy very much and how I might adapt it to this project.
On the Twitter social network I enjoy following #micropoetry. The people write with the known limitation of 144 characters. There are some amazing and potent words that come through the ether. Similar to haiku, it can capture a universe of meaning in an economy of words.
I was inspired by the tradition of haiku and the #micropoets to open a separate twitter account just for this kind of writing, for tight, brief grounding meditations... and they are linked to here to have them post daily on this blog in the right column... see this image:
These Daily Readings have begun updating. Right now I am futzing over having them update at the same time each day. I am sure I will figure that part out soon.
If you are on Twitter and want them to feed to you via Twitter - see AliveandMortal
Thank you for keeping me on my toes and growing!
Wishes for a Peaceful New Year.
Love,
Kim
A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE ALIVE AND MORTAL ONLINE ADVENT CALENDAR
Today's Alive and Mortal online advent calendar reading is about Christopher Love.
Love was executed as a martyr in 1651 by the authorities as an example to dissuade the Presbyterian uprising.
Love had five children, one of whom was born after his death.
This is something that Love wrote:
When our loved ones are passing, they may have seconds or minutes or hours or days or years to utter prayers.
They may even not have words, they may not have brain function... but the life force that they possessed radiates loving energy.
We do not know what is going on with them, really, as they die - but I take great comfort in the idea that the dying, just may very well indeed, pray for the living.
If you would like to engage with the online advent calendar - CLICK HERE.
Love,
Kim
Love was executed as a martyr in 1651 by the authorities as an example to dissuade the Presbyterian uprising.
Love had five children, one of whom was born after his death.
This is something that Love wrote:
"God hath many mercies in store for you;
the prayer of a dying husband,
for you,
will not be lost."
When our loved ones are passing, they may have seconds or minutes or hours or days or years to utter prayers.
They may even not have words, they may not have brain function... but the life force that they possessed radiates loving energy.
We do not know what is going on with them, really, as they die - but I take great comfort in the idea that the dying, just may very well indeed, pray for the living.
If you would like to engage with the online advent calendar - CLICK HERE.
Love,
Kim
Advent for Grieving People
Again, this year, I offer my free Online Advent Calendar for Grieving People.
You can find it HERE.
You may wish to bookmark it, so that every day you may return to open the next window.
If you did this with me before in the past, this is a new and improved version with more detail.
I hope that you will join me on a journey of growth over 25 days. We will focus on bringing light into dark spaces. Trust that every day there is something for you to discover because you are evolving and unfolding in your soul and heart.
I treasure your companionship.
Love,
Kim
PS There is a "donation" button on the site - if you donate, the monies go to Advientos, the host of the free advent calendar program.
You can find it HERE.
You may wish to bookmark it, so that every day you may return to open the next window.
If you did this with me before in the past, this is a new and improved version with more detail.
I hope that you will join me on a journey of growth over 25 days. We will focus on bringing light into dark spaces. Trust that every day there is something for you to discover because you are evolving and unfolding in your soul and heart.
I treasure your companionship.
Love,
Kim
PS There is a "donation" button on the site - if you donate, the monies go to Advientos, the host of the free advent calendar program.
My Humble Reflection on a Piece of Jewelry
The moment I saw this lovely piece, I recalled a poem by Pablo Neruda.I am not fluent in Spanish, so I trust that this is correct:
En su llama mortal la luz te envuelve.
Absorta, pálida doliente, así situada
contra las viejas hélices del crepúsculo
que en torno a ti da vueltas.
Muda, mi amiga,
sola en lo solitario de esta hora de muertes
y llena de las vidas del fuego,
pura heredera del día destruido.
Del sol cae un racimo en tu vestido oscuro.
De la noche las grandes raíces
crecen de súbito desde tu alma,
y a lo exterior regresan las cosas en ti ocultas,
de modo que un pueblo pálido y azul
de ti recién nacido se alimenta.
Oh grandiosa y fecunda y magnética esclava
del círculo que en negro y dorado sucede:
erguida, trata y logra una creación tan viva
que sucumben sus flores, y llena es de tristeza.
Absorta, pálida doliente, así situada
contra las viejas hélices del crepúsculo
que en torno a ti da vueltas.
Muda, mi amiga,
sola en lo solitario de esta hora de muertes
y llena de las vidas del fuego,
pura heredera del día destruido.
Del sol cae un racimo en tu vestido oscuro.
De la noche las grandes raíces
crecen de súbito desde tu alma,
y a lo exterior regresan las cosas en ti ocultas,
de modo que un pueblo pálido y azul
de ti recién nacido se alimenta.
Oh grandiosa y fecunda y magnética esclava
del círculo que en negro y dorado sucede:
erguida, trata y logra una creación tan viva
que sucumben sus flores, y llena es de tristeza.
The Light Wraps You
The light wraps you in its mortal flame.
Abstracted pale mourner, standing that way
against the old propellers of the twilight
that revolves around you.
Speechless, my friend,
alone in the loneliness of this hour of the dead
and filled with the lives of fire,
pure heir of the ruined day.
A bough of fruit falls from the sun on your dark garment.
The great roots of night
grow suddenly from your soul,
and the things that hide in you come out again
so that a blue and palled people
your newly born, takes nourishment.
Oh magnificent and fecund and magnetic slave
of the circle that moves in turn through black and gold:
rise, lead and possess a creation
so rich in life that its flowers perish
and it is full of sadness.
Thank you, Luis. His lovely shop may be found HERE.
Final Week of The Evolving Bonds Photo Project - Lost and Found and Upside Down
"Speak a new language and the world will be a new world. " -RumiChanging your perspective can be a powerful way to unleash yourself.
Why? Because normally our brain functions by simply settling on an economic perspective based on first impressions and assumptions.
Upon encountering a challenge, tragedy or problem in our life... we work to solve it. As subsequent challenges arise, we are more inclined to repeat and repeat our previous approach to attempt to solve a similar problem the exact same way (regardless of whether it is, or is not, the best way). This appears to be the default mechanism of our brains - think of it as an economy of process.
Why waste time inventing new scripts when we can draw on the old scripts?
Well, there are all kinds of good reasons to start anew when we have a challenge.
In particular, I find that creativity helps with the challenges we face when we lose a loved one and we wish to sustain bonds with them. The death of a loved one is a vexing problem to be solved on numerous levels.
The level we are exploring here in this series is our bonds with a beloved person(s) and how to evolve when they have died...
Creatives intuitively explore many, many, many different ways to solve a problem. If there are a million ways to look at a problem, perhaps there are millions of solutions to problems; some solutions better than others.
Creatives feel the freedom to start as a child, often seeming childish in their approach with awe, wonder, questioning and curiosity.
“What… Copernicus [and] Darwin really achieved was not the discovery of a new theory, but a fertile new point of view.” - Michael MichalkoWhen you take the time to change your perspective you are bound to discover new ideas or ways of solving a problem; and it is a certain that some of those new ideas or solutions will be creatively brilliant.
Why not? What the he** do you have to lose? Nothing now. Why not?
Do something upside down or sideways today.
Do something opposite - have an Opposite Day at The School Of Life today...
Take a turn down an unexpected path...
Move toward something that repels you...
A change of perspective will introduce new ideas regarding your evolving bonds with the departed, it is certain to open up an expanse of discovery, love and wonder.
Our Evolving Bonds Photo Project group on Facebook are in their final week and I will look forward to seeing what they do with this... THE MORE OUTRAGEOUS THE BETTER!
Love,
Kim
Evolving Bonds Photo Project - Exploring the Second Home
Our Evolving Bonds Photo Project Facebook Group is continuing in our 3-week cycle of exploring our evolving bonds with the beloved departed as a group.
It is quite moving to watch the variety, depth and breadth of experiences being contemplated and shared.
Today, they receive their next assignment: A Second Home. The prompt will, hopefully, open space for new or elevated awareness.
I am honored to be in the company of these friends in the journey.
Love,
Kim
It is quite moving to watch the variety, depth and breadth of experiences being contemplated and shared.
Today, they receive their next assignment: A Second Home. The prompt will, hopefully, open space for new or elevated awareness.
I am honored to be in the company of these friends in the journey.
Love,
Kim
A POST FOR THOSE IN MY EVOLVING BONDS PHOTO PROJECT
A monk asks, "Is there anything more miraculous than the wonders of nature?" The master replies, "Yes, your awareness of the wonders of nature." -- Angelus SilesiusCan you feel a clutter within you that disrupts your pure awareness?
Most of us can if we slow a bit and start asking that question. I invite you to take a breath and sit with that question a moment. See what arises for you.
Behind that clutter - the stacks and stacks of noise and debris - there often lies a rich and meaning-laden world that can be a comfort, anchor, guide and a grounding.
Normally we humans default to low input - we look through the lens of a lens of a lens... it is one of the common human dilemmas... and there is the potential of not seeing each moment infused with meaning, communication and newness.
Grieving people can fall deeply into an agonizing cacophony of distance and disassociation with their surroundings. Pain can cause us to seize up and do what I call "cocooning". Perhaps you are like me? When someone dies, we may find ourselves thrust into a foreign and treacherous land. This is the last place that we want to be, we often seek a deep and dark cave to retreat into.
I, personally, found many of the deaths that I experienced to have this effect of seizing up. There was a difference when my beloved Brian died, though. There was a familiar stinging grey fog over everything, but with a new level of excruciating foreign-ness because I lost my soul mate and life partner.
But what was strange - after years of spiritual practice...
... I found - this confusing terrain that was clouded with fog and daggers would get punched through over and over by unexplainable beauty. Beauty of nature, sound, the kindness of people... textures, sensations, cadences... I thought something was wrong about these sensations at first... but slowly I began to allow them to arrive and instinctively held out my bleeding pain and allow these moments of beauty to wash over the pain to cleanse and nourish me.
And the more I did this, the more it seemed to bear fruit.
Can we dare to believe:
"The hurt you embrace becomes joy. Call it to your arms where it can change." - Rumi
On Facebook, we have a private group called the EVOLVING BONDS PHOTO PROJECT. We have 12 participants who are very interesting people - and we have a little room for more. I am giving them their first assignment this Sunday morning. They will be looking to how the assignment manifests in their lives this week in an organic way. There are no "right" or "wrong" ways to participate.
Their assignment is called: Unexpected Embraces.
Think about joining us... there is still time.
Love,
Kim
A Week of Preparation for the Evolving Bonds Photo Project
We have 12 members so far in our Evolving Bonds Photo Project... there is still time to join us - we commence on Sunday, October 16th! Consider being a part of this wonderful group of people who are going to teach each other through powerful reflections on their evolving bonds.
Here are some of my reflections along with Rumi for this week to help us ready our hearts and eyes...
"I am so small I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside me?
Look at your eyes,
they are small
but they see enormous things."
When we set an intention to pay attention and take in awareness, many things can come forward that are normally in the background. These are gifts that we have yet to receive. As we bend ourselves toward awareness, the gifts can unfold. The way these gifts present themselves are too numerous to quantify. Here are just a few examples of when the awareness might break through...
“The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep."
"Is it really true that the One I love is everywhere?"
"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."
Love,
Kim
Here are some of my reflections along with Rumi for this week to help us ready our hearts and eyes...
"I am so small I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside me?
Look at your eyes,
they are small
but they see enormous things."
When we set an intention to pay attention and take in awareness, many things can come forward that are normally in the background. These are gifts that we have yet to receive. As we bend ourselves toward awareness, the gifts can unfold. The way these gifts present themselves are too numerous to quantify. Here are just a few examples of when the awareness might break through...
“The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep."
"Is it really true that the One I love is everywhere?"
"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."
Love,
Kim
The Evolving Bonds Photo Project For Grieving People
I am hosting a new 3 week interactive expressive arts experience – starting October 16, 2011.
The Evolving Bonds Photo Project
...is an expressive and exclusive community experience where you will:
Use Your Eyes As A Lens To Your Heart:
We'll venture into our world with our cameras and/or camera phones. We will be using our eyes to increasingly move from looking at what is physically present to seeing what is emotionally and spiritually present.
Use Your Voice As A Tribute To Your Love:
Without pressure, we use our own words or add from prose, memoir, and poetry.
Use Your Relationship Muscles:
If happiness was to be found in focusing on ourselves, we would surely be happy by now!
If happiness is found in connecting with loved ones - then, with camera or camera phone in hand, our perception and awareness can be invited to naturally and easily shift in amazing ways. We find new or renewed ways to connect with our departed and members of the group.
The photographs will help us notice, remember and commit to memory the continuing bonds we are experiencing. Telling stories with photos can be powerful and highly communicative to others who you are connecting with through the group. Your story has power. To see our continuing bonds, reflect on them and allow others to bear witness is a powerful tool.
What are evolving bonds?
CLICK HERE for a previous blog post about evolving bonds.
How does it work?
This group will run in three week cycles. You are making a three week commitment.
Prior to the project commencing is our preparation time.
To prepare to participate, find the group on Facebook called: “Evolving Bonds Photo Project”. It is a closed group. Request to be added. If I do not recognize you, I may email you to determine where you heard about the group, to insure that we do not have people randomly join without qualifying purpose.
Next, prepare to have your camera and/or cameraphone with you at all times, arrange to have a cable handy to connect to a computer if you need it, and any photo editing programs that you would like to use.
During week 1 - 3 of The Evolving Bonds Photo Project you will be gifted each Sunday with a theme suggestion to use if you are inclined. Each week you are to capture your evolving bonds in image and/or words. The themes are designed to be progressive.
So in summary:
At the beginning of each week you will receive notice that I have posted in the group the week’s theme to be done within the week.
During the week I will send out an additional message or host an IM chat that is a brief teaching/inspiration interactive session.
What you will get from participating in the Evolving Bonds Photo Project:
The first cycle of The Evolving Bonds Photo Project begins October 16 and ends November 5, 2011.
Consider joining in...
Love,
Kim
The Evolving Bonds Photo Project
...is an expressive and exclusive community experience where you will:
Use Your Eyes As A Lens To Your Heart:
We'll venture into our world with our cameras and/or camera phones. We will be using our eyes to increasingly move from looking at what is physically present to seeing what is emotionally and spiritually present.
Use Your Voice As A Tribute To Your Love:
Without pressure, we use our own words or add from prose, memoir, and poetry.
Use Your Relationship Muscles:
If happiness was to be found in focusing on ourselves, we would surely be happy by now!
If happiness is found in connecting with loved ones - then, with camera or camera phone in hand, our perception and awareness can be invited to naturally and easily shift in amazing ways. We find new or renewed ways to connect with our departed and members of the group.
The photographs will help us notice, remember and commit to memory the continuing bonds we are experiencing. Telling stories with photos can be powerful and highly communicative to others who you are connecting with through the group. Your story has power. To see our continuing bonds, reflect on them and allow others to bear witness is a powerful tool.
What are evolving bonds?
CLICK HERE for a previous blog post about evolving bonds.
How does it work?
This group will run in three week cycles. You are making a three week commitment.
Prior to the project commencing is our preparation time.
To prepare to participate, find the group on Facebook called: “Evolving Bonds Photo Project”. It is a closed group. Request to be added. If I do not recognize you, I may email you to determine where you heard about the group, to insure that we do not have people randomly join without qualifying purpose.
Next, prepare to have your camera and/or cameraphone with you at all times, arrange to have a cable handy to connect to a computer if you need it, and any photo editing programs that you would like to use.
During week 1 - 3 of The Evolving Bonds Photo Project you will be gifted each Sunday with a theme suggestion to use if you are inclined. Each week you are to capture your evolving bonds in image and/or words. The themes are designed to be progressive.
So in summary:
At the beginning of each week you will receive notice that I have posted in the group the week’s theme to be done within the week.
During the week I will send out an additional message or host an IM chat that is a brief teaching/inspiration interactive session.
What you will get from participating in the Evolving Bonds Photo Project:
- new levels of intimacy with self, your departed and people in the group
- exposure to other people’s stories which are inspiring
- practice in learning to see your continuing bonds
- a designated space to stretch your imagination
- confidence
- support
- adventure
- new levels of awareness of love
The first cycle of The Evolving Bonds Photo Project begins October 16 and ends November 5, 2011.
Consider joining in...
Love,
Kim
Our First Family Grief Camp - Join Us!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD BROCHURE BACK
Message me if you would like a pre-printed color brochure - include your full name and address and the quantity you need.
Please let people know that would benefit from such an experience.
Love,
Kim
Camp Widow
Camp Widow Workshop
I am honored to be presenting the intensive workshop to my grieving companions - called Creativity and Evolving Bonds - it has a low cap on enrollments, so if you are keenly interested, please sign up before spaces are gone. I would hate for anyone that is really wanting to participate to be disappointed.
Love, Kim
I am honored to be presenting the intensive workshop to my grieving companions - called Creativity and Evolving Bonds - it has a low cap on enrollments, so if you are keenly interested, please sign up before spaces are gone. I would hate for anyone that is really wanting to participate to be disappointed.
Love, Kim
Preaching to the Choir
The phrase “preaching to the choir” is a clever way to say one is trying to make believers out of people who already believe, or convince people who are already convinced. The exact phrase first appears in print in the 1970s, but is the same idea as an earlier phrase - “preaching to the converted” - which is first used by John Stuart Mill in An Examination of Sir W. Hamilton's Philosophy, 1867.
The idea has also been expressed in another phrase that refers to an unnecessary act, i.e. “kicking at an open door.”
I am going to preach to the choir in this blog post.
The choir is the community of grieving people.
I am pretty certain you already believe what I will say in this post in your heart-of-hearts. Some are living it – but some perhaps not fully, not completely.
Our grieving community - the “choir” members - are often directed by our culture (the conductor of our thoughts and endorsed feelings) not to sing appassionato (with passion). We allow a guest conductor to signal silence or a monotonous tune and the choir is complying to spare the non-grieving world their discomfort.
I talk, write, read and instant message hundreds of grieving people a week. Often there are a chorus of questions seeking affirmation from others, such as: “Does anyone else feel like ...? How can I avoid being totally insane?... When will I feel normal...? How do I do this ____ without making everyone feel _______...? Am I crazy...?”
Your grief creates a dilemma.
Choir of Grieving People: is “normal” a song that you really want to sing anymore? Maybe “normal” – as packaged by western societal messages – is the most boring, predictable but empty tune out there. And to be honest - your real-life situation of losing a loved one – is actually, statistically, more “normal” than you have been lead to believe.
Have you allowed the world to tell you that your passionate song is wrong? Your tune does not leave the people around you with a comfortable, happy feeling. Do you feel you must hide your love away rather than to disrupt their preferred monotone and droning noise?
It is like our world favors a collapsed tonal scale – and this endorsed and promoted scale has become a sell-out concert for life.
Do we truthfully believe that non-grieving people can tell grieving people how to sing this song of grief? If we do believe it, we have given away our song, our strength, our voice.
What would it mean to you to reject the atmospheric pressure of shame around grief which will, in turn, cause the non-grieving world to either cover their ears or to, at last, to begin listening?
Is the “normal world” with it's denial and lies so attractive and seductive to cause you to abandon yourself and betray your song? You, by being authentically you, can lift your voice and the voice of those grieving along side of you above the suffering of being cultural outcasts in addition to the suffering of your grief. You have an opportunity, as a grieving person, to be fully alive and real in your loss. It is a perfect moment to shed the lies and the half-truths that you have been dressed in for your entire life and sing.
Sing.
Love,
Kim
My First 100% Widowed Grief Workshop
I have just signed on to be a presenter at Camp Widow for a 2 1/2 hour workshop.
This is my first 100% widowed participant workshop. While I have done many mixed groups before, this is a specific population.
If you have lost your life partner, you know a very intimate grief. I invite you to listen to the stirring in your heart and say YES! to exploring your "evolving bonds"...
Here is my proposed workshop:
CLICK HERE FOR THE CAMP WIDOW WEBSITE
Love,
Kim
This is my first 100% widowed participant workshop. While I have done many mixed groups before, this is a specific population.
Creativity and "Evolving Bonds" WorkshopCamp Widow™ 2011 will be held at the San Diego Marriott Hotel and Marina in San Diego, California from August 12-14, 2011. I can arrange discounted registration fees.
In a safe, boundaried and accepting environment we will explore our relationship with the departed as a one of "evolving bonds."
This hands-on workshop will guide participants in expression made tangible by creating a simple tryptic paper collage. In the creative act, your unique and "evolving bonds" can be experienced, expressed and integrated. Time to process your creative piece will be included in the workshop format.
All skill levels are welcome. After all, you bring the material of importance with you, it is already inside you. Low-mess, though please dress comfortably to be creative.
CLICK HERE FOR THE CAMP WIDOW WEBSITE
Love,
Kim
Gratitude Posts - Friendships
Rebecca
Rebecca is my oldest friend, we met in school when we were both wearing black mini skirts and she was wearing black lipstick - can you imagine? We were both artsy-theater types in a world of rational and solid folks, so we globbed onto each other. Through many years and various phases we have been tender with each other and tried to outdo each other in embarrassing the other in public! She usually wins. I cry uncle faster than she does!
Rebecca is busy with 3 active and engaging daughters. We live in separate states. But when I think of her, my heart gets all mushy.
I am thankful for Rebecca!
Gratitude Posts - Friendships
Jennifer
Jennifer calls herself a "singing survivor", and that title suits her well. We got to know each other through my friends who both lived with her and loved her music. I remember seeking her performances out in such offbeat venues as Higley's in La Canada. So when I was finally, as an event producer, able to hire musicians, she was on my short list.We had 2 summers to get to know each other better through her playing once a week in the cool of the July and August evenings in the Gardens. And we shared about personal topics and challenges and dreams.
When my beloved passed away I had 2 songs that rattled around in my head for the memorial service and I could hear Jennifer singing them. I was so raw, I did not know if it was rude of me to ask her to perform at his service or not. Sheepishly, I asked her if she would be willing to learn these songs... and she said YES. She blessed me in one of my darkest moments.
Now she is living farther away and has many challenges, but she still is singing and bringing light with her wherever she goes. You can check her out HERE.
I am thankful for Jennifer.
Love,
Gratitude Posts - Friendships
"China"
"China" is a beautiful friend. We met online first, in a young widow's group, and the connections were real and substantial through the wires. When I visited the south for an extended period of time I got to meet her in person. We met at an Ikea, figuring that if the friend chemistry was not good we could shop and go our separate ways at the end. But we spent the entire rest of the day together and even stayed overnight at a hotel just so that we could keep talking later into the evening.
"China" is a feisty, funny and faithful woman. She lost her beloved partner at a young age, as I had. She is forever spiritually curious like I am. And she has a big heart for the underdog, like I do. She is a non-profit diva - just like me. Read about her ministry HERE. Apart from similarities, her car is covered in funny bumper stickers and she wears bright and colorful clothes that betray her enthusiasm for living large.
I am thankful for "China".
Love,
Gratitude Posts - Friendships
When I lost my soul mate to cancer in 2008 there was certainly no way that I could have understood the way my relationships would change over time.
I experienced such acute loneliness from losing my flesh-and-blood connection with Brian. It was akin to having my chest ripped open and all the contents, hot, sticky and precious bursting forth.
Who or what got me through?
Truth is, the question is really wrong unless it is in the present tense. Who or what is GETTING me through. These kinds of processes are life long. No one seems better qualified to tell you this than I. Our processes of grief are such a spiral, not a linear path.
I think WHO is far more important to me than what. I was just reading about the effects of loneliness on our bodies and psyches and it is sobering to understand how much a toll it takes to be without friendship. That is an important part of what my work and calling is about - because grief is a culturally isolating experience. Most people find that a month after a death that their phones stop ringing... people vanish months later when you are really in the sh*tter. The endurance that the long road of grief takes is pretty misunderstood by our culture - where the message is "get over it".
So I celebrate 2 people today in this post... one "old" and one "new"...
WHO - OLD
Samantha
My friend in all things adventurous. We have known each other since the early 90's. Our sense of humor is terse and wacky. She has been so faithful for so many years. We currently are working together intently on a project in Haiti. Post earthquake, things have ramped up as we are trying to fund raise to move the kids to a safe place before the rains come... read about our work HERE. We named the site little iron flowers after a poem which said the beauty of the Haitian people was like little iron flowers.... I think grieving people are like this too - beautiful and tough.
Sam knew after Brian died that I needed counseling for post-traumatic stress and she gave me a platform through which to do it. It was like throwing me a life preserver.
Samantha is moving into manifesting the full measure of her creation. I love being a witness and participant in this.
WHO - NEW
Kathryn Antyr
Katheryn goes by the nickname Collage Diva. I have read her for about half a year now. She is actively sharing her life-source of creativity on her site HERE. I read her, listen to her, enjoy her and find myself on a virtual oxygen machine. I have been a silent observer for a good while and consistently find a good nugget of nourishment in her creative outpouring on her website. Go check her out...
I think I will continue to share along this line for a few days... I am making these posts as tiny, humble "gratitude visits"...
Those with poet mind
will love you quiet and deep
like haiku
Love,
I experienced such acute loneliness from losing my flesh-and-blood connection with Brian. It was akin to having my chest ripped open and all the contents, hot, sticky and precious bursting forth.
Who or what got me through?
Truth is, the question is really wrong unless it is in the present tense. Who or what is GETTING me through. These kinds of processes are life long. No one seems better qualified to tell you this than I. Our processes of grief are such a spiral, not a linear path.
I think WHO is far more important to me than what. I was just reading about the effects of loneliness on our bodies and psyches and it is sobering to understand how much a toll it takes to be without friendship. That is an important part of what my work and calling is about - because grief is a culturally isolating experience. Most people find that a month after a death that their phones stop ringing... people vanish months later when you are really in the sh*tter. The endurance that the long road of grief takes is pretty misunderstood by our culture - where the message is "get over it".
So I celebrate 2 people today in this post... one "old" and one "new"...
WHO - OLD
Samantha
My friend in all things adventurous. We have known each other since the early 90's. Our sense of humor is terse and wacky. She has been so faithful for so many years. We currently are working together intently on a project in Haiti. Post earthquake, things have ramped up as we are trying to fund raise to move the kids to a safe place before the rains come... read about our work HERE. We named the site little iron flowers after a poem which said the beauty of the Haitian people was like little iron flowers.... I think grieving people are like this too - beautiful and tough.
Sam knew after Brian died that I needed counseling for post-traumatic stress and she gave me a platform through which to do it. It was like throwing me a life preserver.
Samantha is moving into manifesting the full measure of her creation. I love being a witness and participant in this.
WHO - NEW
Kathryn Antyr
Katheryn goes by the nickname Collage Diva. I have read her for about half a year now. She is actively sharing her life-source of creativity on her site HERE. I read her, listen to her, enjoy her and find myself on a virtual oxygen machine. I have been a silent observer for a good while and consistently find a good nugget of nourishment in her creative outpouring on her website. Go check her out...
I think I will continue to share along this line for a few days... I am making these posts as tiny, humble "gratitude visits"...
Those with poet mind
will love you quiet and deep
like haiku
Love,
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