Sometimes you go through the lurking edges of your computerized world and find treasures... sometimes these treasures make you catch your breath.
I have been digging in my computer since my original one crapped out - the motherboard died, requiring me to migrate over to a new (to me) computer.
And I found this, circa 2003. And I burst into tears.
Brian was attempting to take photos of us for a sarcastic Christmas card we wanted to design to send to friends who "got" our weird sense of humor. Hence, being in front of "Circus Liquor" a creepy liquor store in North Hollywood. You can see him clicking the remote. It was dark where the tripod was set up and he accidentally pressed the wrong button... so we had a short video clip and he did not plan on it. We did get our photos and designed our Christmas card and sent it out that year. And we inadvertently got a video clip.
A clip that we never intended to have.
We were photo people. We did not do a lot of video at all. Now, I regret that. I wish I had filmed every small pathetic detail of our days. But I did not.
I did not know this was lurking in the computer - when I had downloaded the camera it came with all the photos and sat there quietly, waiting to be noticed. This is a treasure for me. Even if I got absolutely nothing for Christmas, this short little treasure makes me wealthy beyond measure.
Merry Christmas from Circus Liquor...
Love,
Kim
Showing posts with label CHRISTMAS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CHRISTMAS. Show all posts
A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE ALIVE AND MORTAL ONLINE ADVENT CALENDAR
Today's Alive and Mortal online advent calendar reading is about Christopher Love.
Love was executed as a martyr in 1651 by the authorities as an example to dissuade the Presbyterian uprising.
Love had five children, one of whom was born after his death.
This is something that Love wrote:
When our loved ones are passing, they may have seconds or minutes or hours or days or years to utter prayers.
They may even not have words, they may not have brain function... but the life force that they possessed radiates loving energy.
We do not know what is going on with them, really, as they die - but I take great comfort in the idea that the dying, just may very well indeed, pray for the living.
If you would like to engage with the online advent calendar - CLICK HERE.
Love,
Kim
Love was executed as a martyr in 1651 by the authorities as an example to dissuade the Presbyterian uprising.
Love had five children, one of whom was born after his death.
This is something that Love wrote:
"God hath many mercies in store for you;
the prayer of a dying husband,
for you,
will not be lost."
When our loved ones are passing, they may have seconds or minutes or hours or days or years to utter prayers.
They may even not have words, they may not have brain function... but the life force that they possessed radiates loving energy.
We do not know what is going on with them, really, as they die - but I take great comfort in the idea that the dying, just may very well indeed, pray for the living.
If you would like to engage with the online advent calendar - CLICK HERE.
Love,
Kim
Advent for Grieving People
Again, this year, I offer my free Online Advent Calendar for Grieving People.
You can find it HERE.
You may wish to bookmark it, so that every day you may return to open the next window.
If you did this with me before in the past, this is a new and improved version with more detail.
I hope that you will join me on a journey of growth over 25 days. We will focus on bringing light into dark spaces. Trust that every day there is something for you to discover because you are evolving and unfolding in your soul and heart.
I treasure your companionship.
Love,
Kim
PS There is a "donation" button on the site - if you donate, the monies go to Advientos, the host of the free advent calendar program.
You can find it HERE.
You may wish to bookmark it, so that every day you may return to open the next window.
If you did this with me before in the past, this is a new and improved version with more detail.
I hope that you will join me on a journey of growth over 25 days. We will focus on bringing light into dark spaces. Trust that every day there is something for you to discover because you are evolving and unfolding in your soul and heart.
I treasure your companionship.
Love,
Kim
PS There is a "donation" button on the site - if you donate, the monies go to Advientos, the host of the free advent calendar program.
A Sensitive Christmas
It went past me so quickly, I almost did not catch it. It was a throw - away phrase.
I was reading about the history of international Christmas caroling (don't ask - I am a geek) and a simple sentence was tucked in amongst all the lighthearted facts about caroling in Greece...
I take a little liberty as I quote the article:
... The candle lighter is the leader of the caroling group... All day he leads the caroling group throughout the city... These carolers have far more consideration for the feelings of their fellow - creatures than English carolers because the candle lighter is always sent on ahead to inquire of the household that they propose to visit if there is mourning in the house...
My reading halted there. This seemed altogether amazing. Could it be that there was, at one moment, a culture that enjoyed the spirit of Christmas - and yet, all the while - demonstrated understanding that the mourning people in their midst needed sensitivity?
I am uncertain as to why or how these Greek people had an unusual level of thoughtfulness for the grieving. Should anyone reading this know the answer, I would love you to comment and tell me.
Those of us that have been grieving over numerous holidays always feel such pressure to conform. Not to ruin everyone's good time. At the very least, not to openly grieve. Yet, here I encountered a hint about a culture that bent low to care for those in grief.
When we are grieving everything burns more hotly, things sound harsher, all of our senses are raw and easily jangled. If you are grieving, know that it might seem like you lost a layer of epidermis.
We no longer have shared cultural responses to death like our ancestors did. But we still need code language to quickly communicate that we need to have our grief taken into consideration. I and many others are trying to begin to build this culture. It starts with being able to express your authentic self, with love, to those in your sphere. When you need to have your feelings taken into consideration over the hype of the holidays, recall that there have been times in human history when the feelings of mourners were taken into consideration, and rest in that knowledge that we are not asking for something that is uncalled for.
I wish you light and life this holiday season.
Love,
I was reading about the history of international Christmas caroling (don't ask - I am a geek) and a simple sentence was tucked in amongst all the lighthearted facts about caroling in Greece...
I take a little liberty as I quote the article:
... The candle lighter is the leader of the caroling group... All day he leads the caroling group throughout the city... These carolers have far more consideration for the feelings of their fellow - creatures than English carolers because the candle lighter is always sent on ahead to inquire of the household that they propose to visit if there is mourning in the house...
My reading halted there. This seemed altogether amazing. Could it be that there was, at one moment, a culture that enjoyed the spirit of Christmas - and yet, all the while - demonstrated understanding that the mourning people in their midst needed sensitivity?
I am uncertain as to why or how these Greek people had an unusual level of thoughtfulness for the grieving. Should anyone reading this know the answer, I would love you to comment and tell me.
Those of us that have been grieving over numerous holidays always feel such pressure to conform. Not to ruin everyone's good time. At the very least, not to openly grieve. Yet, here I encountered a hint about a culture that bent low to care for those in grief.
When we are grieving everything burns more hotly, things sound harsher, all of our senses are raw and easily jangled. If you are grieving, know that it might seem like you lost a layer of epidermis.
We no longer have shared cultural responses to death like our ancestors did. But we still need code language to quickly communicate that we need to have our grief taken into consideration. I and many others are trying to begin to build this culture. It starts with being able to express your authentic self, with love, to those in your sphere. When you need to have your feelings taken into consideration over the hype of the holidays, recall that there have been times in human history when the feelings of mourners were taken into consideration, and rest in that knowledge that we are not asking for something that is uncalled for.
I wish you light and life this holiday season.
HOLIDAYS WITH FEELING
and little or no money!
Before my life partner Brian died the holidays looked VERY different than they do now.
Before Brian died, ample money was spent on transport, hotels, meals... and the childrens gifts. Brian loved to spend money on his children - they grew accustom to nice gifts and activities.
My financial limitations after Brian died were daunting.
Doing the holidays with less – one less person whom you loved, less money, less energy, less gifts, less decorating, less food - can be a really tough situation.
With little to no money and targeted energy you can still create “holiday feeling” for just yourself or family and friends without spending a lot of money...
DECORATING
1. Look outside - what resources can you bring inside?
Don't preclude non-traditional plants. I have made wreaths from mulberry and citrus cuttings. What can be washed, slapped with a coat of paint or re-purposed for a holiday decoration? Once I took a short green watering hose and coiled it with twine, creating a gardener's wreath. Everyone loved it and it cost me nothing.
2. Carefully pick your focal points, where the eye naturally goes or where you would like to guide the eye.
Three focal points to focus on for punch are:
• The Entry – sets the mood for everyone
• The Family Room - or main gathering space
• The Bedside - Everyone's bedside is a very sentimental space. Do not overlook it. After Brian died I gave each child a tiny Christmas tree, sized for their bedside table with mini lights and ornaments to decorate them with. The ornaments were picked to remind them of their dad. The kids settled into bed and woke with those trees, feeling his love. The tree toppers were a star with a note attached that said that when they looked at the twinkling stars that they might imagine him winking at them.
3. Use scale, color, light, sound, texture, and smell to your advantage.
Go with a lower number of items that are larger in scale to carry visual impact. Select colors for either sentimental reasons or strong impact. Light can cast warmth and sentimentality - candles, twinkle lights cost almost nothing at bargain stores. Create a holiday playlist and have continuous music playing in your gathering spaces. Go for soft, warm and comforting textures. Use greens if you cannot afford a tree to bring in a spruce odor.
GIVING
Focus on Sentimental Gift Giving - If the heart is full, the wallet can be less-so!
1. Food is important - give your kids special family recipes in a note book, adding personal anecdotes and pictures.
2. Heirloom jewelry or a locket with an inscription inside or photo can be meaningful.
3. Write up baby stories for each child, describing what they where like as an infant. Include fun, interesting facts. Recall their favorite books, stories and toys. Add a few photos as well.
4. Create a DVD with of pictures of the family to their favorite songs.
Focus on Activity Gift Giving - it keeps everyone busy and also makes memories!
1. Give objects for favorite activities. If you ride bikes together, give a box with all the bits and pieces to spruce up their bike. Give art supplies or art kits (beading kits, ceramic mug kits) shrinky-dinks or something fun. Try to do the activity together over the holiday time period.
2. Make goodies together to eat and to give as family gifts.
3. Select an enormous puzzle to do together.
4. Create bird houses and make a whole activity out of making, decorating, hanging and feeding the birds.
5. Make a movie basket - create no-sew fleece blankets for each family member and package with various family movies, popcorn, licorice, cocoa mix or things of this nature.
6. Find an outdoor area to have a bonfire and make s'mores as you sing holiday songs.
My last hint: Particularly if your children are older, consider celebrating on Twelfth Night. Twelfth Night, always held on January 5th. It marks the conclusion of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Airfare is cheaper if family fly on a holiday. Things are calmer. Mark-downs will already be in effect, making your dollar go farther. There are many interesting traditions to draw from for this holiday... including a King’s Cake... named for the Three Kings who visited Baby Jesus. Email me if you would like ideas about hosting a Twelfth Night party. Wikipedia is also a great place to learn more about Twelfth Night and its traditions.
Love,
Before my life partner Brian died the holidays looked VERY different than they do now.
Before Brian died, ample money was spent on transport, hotels, meals... and the childrens gifts. Brian loved to spend money on his children - they grew accustom to nice gifts and activities.
My financial limitations after Brian died were daunting.
Doing the holidays with less – one less person whom you loved, less money, less energy, less gifts, less decorating, less food - can be a really tough situation.
With little to no money and targeted energy you can still create “holiday feeling” for just yourself or family and friends without spending a lot of money...
DECORATING
1. Look outside - what resources can you bring inside?
Don't preclude non-traditional plants. I have made wreaths from mulberry and citrus cuttings. What can be washed, slapped with a coat of paint or re-purposed for a holiday decoration? Once I took a short green watering hose and coiled it with twine, creating a gardener's wreath. Everyone loved it and it cost me nothing.
2. Carefully pick your focal points, where the eye naturally goes or where you would like to guide the eye.
Three focal points to focus on for punch are:
• The Entry – sets the mood for everyone
• The Family Room - or main gathering space
• The Bedside - Everyone's bedside is a very sentimental space. Do not overlook it. After Brian died I gave each child a tiny Christmas tree, sized for their bedside table with mini lights and ornaments to decorate them with. The ornaments were picked to remind them of their dad. The kids settled into bed and woke with those trees, feeling his love. The tree toppers were a star with a note attached that said that when they looked at the twinkling stars that they might imagine him winking at them.
3. Use scale, color, light, sound, texture, and smell to your advantage.
Go with a lower number of items that are larger in scale to carry visual impact. Select colors for either sentimental reasons or strong impact. Light can cast warmth and sentimentality - candles, twinkle lights cost almost nothing at bargain stores. Create a holiday playlist and have continuous music playing in your gathering spaces. Go for soft, warm and comforting textures. Use greens if you cannot afford a tree to bring in a spruce odor.
GIVING
Focus on Sentimental Gift Giving - If the heart is full, the wallet can be less-so!
1. Food is important - give your kids special family recipes in a note book, adding personal anecdotes and pictures.
2. Heirloom jewelry or a locket with an inscription inside or photo can be meaningful.
3. Write up baby stories for each child, describing what they where like as an infant. Include fun, interesting facts. Recall their favorite books, stories and toys. Add a few photos as well.
4. Create a DVD with of pictures of the family to their favorite songs.
Focus on Activity Gift Giving - it keeps everyone busy and also makes memories!
1. Give objects for favorite activities. If you ride bikes together, give a box with all the bits and pieces to spruce up their bike. Give art supplies or art kits (beading kits, ceramic mug kits) shrinky-dinks or something fun. Try to do the activity together over the holiday time period.
2. Make goodies together to eat and to give as family gifts.
3. Select an enormous puzzle to do together.
4. Create bird houses and make a whole activity out of making, decorating, hanging and feeding the birds.
5. Make a movie basket - create no-sew fleece blankets for each family member and package with various family movies, popcorn, licorice, cocoa mix or things of this nature.
6. Find an outdoor area to have a bonfire and make s'mores as you sing holiday songs.
My last hint: Particularly if your children are older, consider celebrating on Twelfth Night. Twelfth Night, always held on January 5th. It marks the conclusion of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Airfare is cheaper if family fly on a holiday. Things are calmer. Mark-downs will already be in effect, making your dollar go farther. There are many interesting traditions to draw from for this holiday... including a King’s Cake... named for the Three Kings who visited Baby Jesus. Email me if you would like ideas about hosting a Twelfth Night party. Wikipedia is also a great place to learn more about Twelfth Night and its traditions.
Love,
Planning Your Self-Care for the Holidays
The upcoming holiday season can act as a grief trigger, making the latter part of the year a very difficult time. The following are some ways in which we can be supportive to ourselves when we are grieving through the holidays. Answer some of the following questions:
The most difficult parts of the holiday season for me may be the following:
1.
2.
3.
4.
People who can hear my grief are (list them):
1.
2.
3.
4.
Ways I can connect with these supportive people over the holiday months are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
The most difficult people to be with might be:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Grief triggers might be:
1.
2.
3.
4.
This year I want to include the following new activities in my holiday:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Ways I can honor the person I am grieving are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
You are NOT alone. Reach out. You can do it with loving support.
Love,
The most difficult parts of the holiday season for me may be the following:
1.
2.
3.
4.
People who can hear my grief are (list them):
1.
2.
3.
4.
Ways I can connect with these supportive people over the holiday months are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
The most difficult people to be with might be:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Grief triggers might be:
1.
2.
3.
4.
This year I want to include the following new activities in my holiday:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Ways I can honor the person I am grieving are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
You are NOT alone. Reach out. You can do it with loving support.
Love,
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