Centering Prayer and Breathing Exercises for Uncertain Times

Our encounters of mortality are what I refer to as a boot camp for the soul. 

If you are struggling with your own or someone else's mortality, there are things to do to recharge your stamina and resiliency in facing grief and fear.

Centering Prayer:

Centering Prayer (also called Prayer of the Heart) is the prayer first described in the spiritual classic, "The Cloud of Unknowing".
Centering Prayer is thought to be based on one of the contemplative prayer forms St. John of the Cross describes as “the practice of loving attentiveness”.

Research has been conducted on Centering Prayer. (Article: "Centering prayer for women receiving chemotherapy for recurrent ovarian cancer: A pilot study". Oncology Nursing Forum 36 (4)) This one-year Centering Prayer study conducted by the Mind Body Medicine Research Group studied prayer practitioners, along with other spiritual practitioners, for the Spiritual Engagement Project, a research study on how engagement in spiritual practices and community influences health and well-being.  Participants completed the myriad tasks for this project, including online questionnaires, two eight-day periods of daily telephone surveys, forms and emails. The findings indicate that it may be helpful for those receiving chemotherapy, and that it may help people experience a more collaborative relationship with God, as well as reduced stress.

This prayer form is a meditation technique which works primarily with the repetition of a sacred word or formula.
Centering Prayer is a silent, non-conceptual form prayer and therefore different from conventional spoken prayers such as the Lord’s Prayer or mentally repeated prayers. The practice of centering prayer seeks to still the activity of the mind in order to experience a loving awareness of God’s presence.
Centering Prayer takes shape in four very simple steps.

1. Choose a sacred word or phrase such as Abba, Jesus, Shalom or Love.

1. Sit comfortably with good supported posture and with eyes closed begin repeating the chosen sacred word.

1. When ever other thoughts arise, do not fret, just keep coming back to the sacred word.

1. At the end of your prayer, remain in silence for a while, observing your breathing.

Possible sacred words or phrases for Centering Prayer are: 

• Jesus

• Christos

• Father

• Mother 

• Abba

• God

• Love

• Peace

• Mercy

• Yes

You can make this your own, based on you unique beliefs and convictions.

The singular word is very helpful for making a simple assertion. When I was having my "Whole World Melt Down" in 2008, I began to use the word "peace" and I still use it today. It has borne fruit in my life that I now see today.

Try the Centering Prayer when you are ready. It will be there for you when it is the right time.
Breathing Exercises:

Breathing Exercises also are beneficial for stress reduction and centering. 
 (If you have any medical history with complications of breathing – consult a physician first.)

This particular technique is from the discipline of Tai Chi. I have mentioned it before, it bears repeating.

Sit with both feet firmly planted on the ground and in an upright and alert position that is comfortable.

Take 3 short inhales.

Let go of 1 long exhale.

Repeat this sequence five times.

This pattern brings what is typically an involuntary bodily process (breathing) and makes it an intentional process, thereby bringing awareness to your core self and assisting you with grounding and offering stability. Breathing gets at the sympathetic nervous system, which is the system that can become aggrivated and cause panic attacks and anxiety related disorders.There are many breathing exercises to try, this one is a place to begin.

Be well.

Love,
Kim

Love Sorrow, a poem by Mary Oliver

Love Sorrow on Prezi

Love,
Kim

The Power of Words

Grieving people usually cloister themselves away from larger social circulation in the beginning. Eventually, you will begin to make short journeys into contact with the world again. The world looks very different to you, smells different, tastes different - and sounds different.

The bereaved are often taken aback and surprised by how the general public, in particular their friends - WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER - use certain words. It is like the bereaved are hearing people use these words for the first time. The words are around death, loss and grief - but used in cavalier ways. And, it stings.

People actually often say things that inadvertently mention the subject of death, and use it for dramatic effect.

"That kills me."
"I could shoot her."
"I feel like I have one foot in the grave."
"That was murder."

And the list goes on.

You are in a hyper-sensitive state. These words cause you to halt. Your world just received a massive download of these kinds of words due to the loss of someone. These kinds of words are more infused in your daily discussions than before. So, when you hear these words used metaphorically, and even with intended humor, it is hard to ignore them or hear them with the same sense of levity you might have had at an earlier time in your life. You see everything through the lens of your loss and it is startling how much we talk about death, dying and suffering in superficial and dramatically silly ways.

People will say really crass things around grieving people - and it is painful. I hear this from hundreds of grieving people all over the world. They begin to be at odds with the people around them, asking why - if their friends and relatives care - are they using these words in this way.

Some people lose it in front of their friends and relatives on this issue. I recently watched one friend who exploded at his relatives regarding such verbal malfeasance. It slowly grew in annoyance and eventually exploded and became a rift between people in his family. I understand and empathize fully. But I hope to offer a different angle to look at these insults to the psyche to see if we can keep from throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

I can only offer one technique. As we live in a world that is so extremely death - denying, I feel that this use of death words is what one would call a Freudian slip - the unconscious mind kicking up toward the conscious. Death is the topic that everyone wants to suppress, so it must come out in sideways and backward emissions. I have come to think that perhaps it is like a nervous tick - they think they should avoid talking about these topics and are nervous and they let out these words like a bad case of verbal gas...

Sometimes, when someone is trying REALLY HARD not to say something, they begin hydroplaning, sliding and careening towards these words in some uncontrollable skid that can only stop by uttering a word like "die", "kill", "cancer", "tumor", "drown"... I could go on. It is equivalent to people developing momentary Tourettes syndrome.

Perhaps this will help you to extend some patience and grace toward the person even when they say something that stings. Imagine their words as a boisterous fart. You would feel embarrassed for them if it were gas, would you not? This is not that much different, I am afraid.

Love, Kim