Written by my friend Gill Mcmullin:
Some years ago now I was just like you,
A normal life, husband, child and dog too
Times had been hard, a struggle to get by
But in good and bad we stood the test of time
A new opportunity gave hope to us all
Finally the break we had been waiting for
The opportunity began, but a cloud stood in the way
A sickness so violent that just wouldn’t go away
Many visits to the doctors, hospitals all very formal
So why did all the tests come back normal
An ulcer it was the medical conclusion
Until a camera revealed that was just an illusion
So what could it be this dark cloud of sickness
Enough was enough it just left bitterness
An emergency operation what would it reveal
The cause of the sickness would now heal.
Finally back to normal filled of hopes and dreams
But as we all know things are never as they seem
A call would do it, a nurse on the phone
Telling us she would visit us at home
Nothing prepares you for what I’m about to say
I just have to tell you it’s the only way
To look someone in the eye when they are told this news
Is to look at a man someone you once knew
For in that moment, my life changed for good
A heart of denial masked with a hood
We can fix this I know we can
Once we know the results of the scan
A pain so deep it’s hard to describe
More so than being sliced with a knife
When every question you ask is answered with no
How can this be he is not even old
A ray of hope, a shining light
A small but chance of a fight
To stop the sickness was the hardest part
Why is my life falling apart
What did I do that was so wrong
How am I supposed to be strong
I fell to my knees as the ambulance came
We knew he would not come home again
How do I tell this young boy of eleven
His daddy he adores is about to go to heaven
With no explanation or reason why
It’s just against the nature of life
A snowy day in November
A small wedding took place, in a tiny room with limited space
No gown, no bridesmaids it seemed so unfair
Only a small band of gold for us to share
A happy moment for us all
A darker day was about to fall
To say goodbye to your son is so hard
For mum too watch on a shattered heart
How to understand you never can
Just how much I love this man
A final kiss was his last request
A heart wrenching goodbye to one of the best.
I walk around each day with a broken soul
Knowing I can never be completely whole
Never tell me how I should feel
For you this is a story, for me this is real.
Years have passed and they have been tough
Some days and nights were just too much
I’m back on track and things are good
My heart is no longer shrouded in a hood
Time does not heal, the scars they are there
Even some days now are too much to bare
I fought a battle each day for so long
I never gave up and if finally paid off
I will never have the answer why this happened to me
But, I am now at peace that his soul is free
I can’t change the past or predict the future
But will be forever grateful that he was my teacher
The love you keep it never goes away
Maybe we will meet in heaven someday
I’m not the same person as I was years ago
I’m stronger and wiser and it’s because of my woe
My heart is wounded again with the loss of my niece
For my brother and family I hope for some peace
Not knowing how they feel, but offer experience from my own
More important to tell them they are never alone
Strength is slowly found in sorrow
There is always another tomorrow
It could be better it could be worse
That is the nature of the hurt
Never underestimate the power of growth
The deeper it’s felt the more it will show
Normality is hard, but balance is the key
It comes from the love it will set you free.
I think she nailed it. Beautiful.
Love,