A journey of darkeness to light

Written by my friend Gill Mcmullin:

Some years ago now I was just like you,

A normal life, husband, child and dog too

Times had been hard, a struggle to get by

But in good and bad we stood the test of time

A new opportunity gave hope to us all

Finally the break we had been waiting for

The opportunity began, but a cloud stood in the way

A sickness so violent that just wouldn’t go away

Many visits to the doctors, hospitals all very formal

So why did all the tests come back normal

An ulcer it was the medical conclusion

Until a camera revealed that was just an illusion

So what could it be this dark cloud of sickness

Enough was enough it just left bitterness

An emergency operation what would it reveal

The cause of the sickness would now heal.

Finally back to normal filled of hopes and dreams

But as we all know things are never as they seem

A call would do it, a nurse on the phone

Telling us she would visit us at home

Nothing prepares you for what I’m about to say

I just have to tell you it’s the only way

To look someone in the eye when they are told this news

Is to look at a man someone you once knew

For in that moment, my life changed for good

A heart of denial masked with a hood

We can fix this I know we can

Once we know the results of the scan

A pain so deep it’s hard to describe

More so than being sliced with a knife

When every question you ask is answered with no

How can this be he is not even old

A ray of hope, a shining light

A small but chance of a fight

To stop the sickness was the hardest part

Why is my life falling apart

What did I do that was so wrong

How am I supposed to be strong

I fell to my knees as the ambulance came

We knew he would not come home again

How do I tell this young boy of eleven

His daddy he adores is about to go to heaven

With no explanation or reason why

It’s just against the nature of life

A snowy day in November

A small wedding took place, in a tiny room with limited space

No gown, no bridesmaids it seemed so unfair

Only a small band of gold for us to share

A happy moment for us all

A darker day was about to fall

To say goodbye to your son is so hard

For mum too watch on a shattered heart

How to understand you never can

Just how much I love this man

A final kiss was his last request

A heart wrenching goodbye to one of the best.

I walk around each day with a broken soul

Knowing I can never be completely whole

Never tell me how I should feel

For you this is a story, for me this is real.

Years have passed and they have been tough

Some days and nights were just too much

I’m back on track and things are good

My heart is no longer shrouded in a hood

Time does not heal, the scars they are there

Even some days now are too much to bare

I fought a battle each day for so long

I never gave up and if finally paid off

I will never have the answer why this happened to me

But, I am now at peace that his soul is free

I can’t change the past or predict the future

But will be forever grateful that he was my teacher

The love you keep it never goes away

Maybe we will meet in heaven someday

I’m not the same person as I was years ago

I’m stronger and wiser and it’s because of my woe

My heart is wounded again with the loss of my niece

For my brother and family I hope for some peace

Not knowing how they feel, but offer experience from my own

More important to tell them they are never alone

Strength is slowly found in sorrow

There is always another tomorrow

It could be better it could be worse

That is the nature of the hurt

Never underestimate the power of growth

The deeper it’s felt the more it will show

Normality is hard, but balance is the key

It comes from the love it will set you free.

I think she nailed it. Beautiful.