Today is a hard day - but in response to being marginalized and being made invisible (literally), I decided to try and reach out farther instead of obeying the instinct to roll up like a rolly polly.
One thing about having your soul mate die - is that the person that saw you no matter what ever else was going on is no longer physically here. I think he sees me still. Call me crazy or whatever. But I do think he sees me. It is just that a safe place is gone. So when I my very existence was made obsolete today, I only had myself and my breathing. And my cat. (Thank God for cats!)
So instead of rolling away, I am walking straight toward whoever will accept my presence. I have opened a new facebook group. It is called Grief and Healing Community. I have a co-admin for the site who is quite a fun Brit. And I hope that it can be a place where people are embraced and are not made invisible.
Easter resurrection is needed. I am reaching out for it.